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An open letter from NABRO to you!
Sun, Sep 14, 2008 by Purple and Gold
Hey you beyotch, hello there. Our name is NABRO. Do you recognize us? Actually, it is our nickname. Our whole name is the National Amateur Basketball Referees Organization. Though we like to be called on our whole name because it sounds cool and very professional, we prefer be called on our nickname, since it pains everyone when they try to call our name as a whole. Our name is fucking long and useless so you just better call us by our nickname. Our job is fun and decent, albeit a very hard one. We referee games in the UAAP. Do you know that the UAAP is the most prestigious collegiate league in the country? Or are you still stuck in the 60s and think that the NCAA still is the premiere collegiate league? Anyway, that's not the matter of the discussion. This is an open letter to the UAAP, not a material to denigrate the NCAA.
Let us give you, our reader, a short history backgrounder on what are we and what the fuck have we done to destroy, er, contribute to college basketball. Wait, let us remember it again. There. We think it was in 2003 or 2004 where our services were called. We were just a bunch of drunkards along the riles with only the knowhow of the larong-kanto style of basketball. That style incorporated baseball pass of inbounds at every chance that we get, a rag-tag run and gun game, the blind and unconditional use of the zone defense, and frequent elbowing that often ended up in fisticuffs. Basketball was just a game for us so we toyed and bastardized it. Going back to the topic, The UAAP spotted us along the riles while having a drinking session at Aling Kepweng's sari-sari store after a game. Seeing that we were sweaty and smelly from hours' worth of basketball, the UAAP tried to get us as referees. We doubted the morons who talked to us because they looked like people who can salvage us with their eye stares.
We had no work; all of us were relegated to being included in the unemployed force (translation: fucking bums) of the society. We took this as a chance to earn some money while we were doing something that we love - basketball. Besides, the guy who approached us promised to give us ample and sufficient training to make us competitive referees that will be the mediator of teams that are about to beat the hell out of each other in the court. Some of us had man-crushes on UAAP hotties like Joseph Yeo, TY Tang, Chris Tiu, JC Intal, and Jvee Casio *ahihihihi* so we accepted the job without any regard. The training came there as promised. We spent several hours watching past UAAP games and engaging in physical activity. We had to lose the fats and the beer belly to be able to keep in step with the UAAP cagers who were youthful and energetic. Also, we needed to look attractive to our man-crushes. We spent more time watching tapes, burning calories on the treadmill, and fantasizing with our crushes.
Also, we had our own hands-on training. One that uses the brain. We were subjected to several mental aptitude tests -- none of which we failed, luckily. We had a separate crash course about the FIBA (amateur basketball) rules. We learned the fundamental rules of basketball and we felt like GODS!!! After the FIBA rulebook crashcourse, We were asked to referee several situations based on the FIBA rulebook. It was good. We were taught to use our judgement call whenever we need to. Of course, when 20 thousand paying fans are waiting for us to make a call in crucial stretches, we really need our judgement call or we will be the target of flying objects -- from bottles, to pens and in extreme cases, metal projectiles. But luckily, none of those metal projectiles include a bullet. We were also taught some self-defense and crowd control, just in case when fans apprehend us outside the coliseum premises and use their bare fists to question our calls in a certain game. Thanks to the self-defense training, we are safe. Imagine if there was no self defense in the training regimen. We'd be totally incompetent!
As part of our practicum in this crash course, we were asked to referee several inter-baranggay games in the mosquito division. Of course, we applied all the concepts that we learned in training camp. It was an exhilarating experience refereeing in the mosquito division. We all passed training camp. With flying colors, while we're at it. So the UAAP management decided that it was time for us to be put to the acid test: our first La Salle vs. Ateneo game. We were as pressured as the players were. I think we were more pressured because we will determine the outcome of the game and who is going to be the winner's bitch. It was a good first-experience. We think we handled the job very well, although a number of fans still wanted to grab us by the neck and use their fists to referee us. But that number has been kept to a minimal, thanks to NABRO's training program. As the season went on, the number of people who went against our competent officiating multiplied every minute. You could hear boos and aahs to our competent calls. Fuckers! We know more about you do about basketball! We were taught how to referee so shut up your fucking mouths!
But still, there were no effects to our pleas to stop the complaints against what we taught was competent officiating. Most of the people who were shouting at us say these horrendous and scary things that completely denigrate and insult our competency as basketball game officials...
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY REEEEEEEF!!!"
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY NUMBER(insert #) AYUSIN MO NAMAN!!!"
"REF WALANG FOUL!!!"
"REF ASAN ANG FOUL!!!"
"REF WALA KA BANG MATA!!!"
"REF WAG KA NANG BUMAWI NG TAWAG!!!"
"REF GAMITIN MO NAMAN UTAK MO!!!"
"PUTANGINA MO REF!!!"
"MAMATAY KA NA REF!!!"
"REF KAUNTING HONESTY NAMAN DYAN!!!"
"HOY REF GAGO!!! BOBO KA TALAGA!!!"
"REF WAG KA NAMANG OBVIOUS!!!"
"REF AABANGAN KITA SA LABAS!!! MARKADO KA NA!!!"
...and so an and so forth.
We got tired and scared of it. The death threats (see last of the reference sentences) made us think twice about continuing our job and what we believed as proper officiating. The nuclear stockpile of complaints and criticisms from fans, especially from Ateneans and Lasallians, almost made us break into pieces. We were about to quit the job but the UAAP management pleaded us not to go and promised that they will teach us some dark magic techniques in refereeing. They said that this will earn us enough monies to support our families. Looks like we haven't finished the referee crash course. Here is the most fun part of refereeing.
The dark magic that the training staff was about to teach us was called game-fixing. Yeah, we thought that games needed to be fixed because the fans are getting hostile and violent against us with every call we make. B-but the referee training staff made it come to our senses that they meant another game fixing. This game-fixing did not involve crowd control, it invovled money. Lots of it. Here was the drift according to them. We control the margin of a game according to the spread or the desired winner and desired winning margin in the betting hubs and we get big bucks. We were excited with the big bucks, but also were concerned of the competent and honest officiating that we thought we have done. But they said, "Screw fair officiating! We're earning big bucks here! You're the ones who will make or break this thing so better get your act now and start settling for being hurled with a fee." We were really enticed to this thing since it compensates for all of the hurt that the audience has caused to us. They cannot blame us for being like this. If only they appreciated our competent officiating, this would have not ended like this.
We started calling games in an ill-mannered way, trying to cover for the spread at the betting hubs by making out of this world calls. We also became good at making non-calls even though it's obvious that the concerned player is clearly being violated by his opposition or defender. That's the way we roll now. As they have said, fuck competent officiating. We were instant objects of vilification of UAAP schools. They started the blame game amongst themselves, constantly trying to catch who's benefitting from this game-fixing thing which, apparently, they have also discovered after months of enchantment and confusion. Then there was this time that La Salle got suspended, they instantly took all the blame for game-fixing charges. I think that's still the case even now. HA! If only they knew that we acted on our own decision and cognition, La Salle must be hurling an arrowstorm of insults against the schools who pinned them down for gamefixing accusations.
Fast forward to 2007, the Archers were back. Of course the Ateneans still won't let them off the hook even though they won the championship in the hardest way that they could ever do. Imagine going through 5 games of hell with the Eagles. That'd be really hell especially if you mix in with their fans. We should know because they always shout and curse at us every chance that they get. They're a rowdy and arrogant bunch. UE fans too were moaning and complaing that they got cheated upon by this game-fixing thing. They were absolutely right. But they were wrong in pointing fingers coz at others it was us! IT WAS US! NOT THEM! We also spent some time in the NCAA refereeing games but they rejected us for our dirty ways. We guess that they can't take the heat of the competition.
Here we are now in 2008, and this open letter is coming to an end. Our tradition for twisted competency (not incompetency!) is still on the roll. Commissioner Chea--Chito Narvasa is on the helm. Remember his first move? Brilliant. Calling a technical on Franz Pumaren on a small fucking detail. He called it from the patron section. That's what's so great about it. The commissioner was erroneous, indecisive and seemingly unfit to take the commisionership of the UAAP. But he stayed as he is. We tried to get back to our own selves and call games 'our honest and competent way' but bigger controversies sparked. The fans were massively dissatisfied with our calls. We were often cursed. Their favorite was the handy PUTANGINA MO REF!!! We tried to correct things but nothing much went right. Narvasa suspended our colleague Ryan Tabanag because according to Chea--Chito, he lacked the proper demeanor in clutch situations. This happened the first La Salle-FEU game. Anton Montinola, his bestfriend, called out La Salle for having 'no conscience'. Another referee was suspended in the third installment of the said match-up for having a lack of demeanor in a big game. What the fuck is that figgity fucking alibi, Chea--Chito?
We had a chance to make things better. We tried to turn the tables to make calls that mostly favored FEU and put La Salle at a disadvantage. Turns out it didn't work. They noticed the setting trend and they got very, very angry. Legions of La Salle fans at our back started to chant "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!" ad infinitum and it felt like our lives were threatened like we were held at gunpoint. We made the officiating less obviously biased but still, in favor of FEU. But know what, they still lost. I don't know how deep the Archers dug just to steal this win from our hands. We, the NABRO refs, had this win handed over to FEU and the Tamaraws still found a way to lose it. Well we guess that's life. Our next assignment is the La Salle vs. Ateneo finals. This is their first rematch after six years, right? We're excited to referee this game. We will try our best to referee this game because we fear that our lives will be at great risk if we mess up the officiating of this series between the archrivals. We don't really want to get in between their crossfire.
Well we guess that is it for now. That is our open letter to you, reader. Hope to hear from you soon -- if we're still the refereeing body next year!
Sun, Sep 14, 2008 by Purple and Gold
Hey you beyotch, hello there. Our name is NABRO. Do you recognize us? Actually, it is our nickname. Our whole name is the National Amateur Basketball Referees Organization. Though we like to be called on our whole name because it sounds cool and very professional, we prefer be called on our nickname, since it pains everyone when they try to call our name as a whole. Our name is fucking long and useless so you just better call us by our nickname. Our job is fun and decent, albeit a very hard one. We referee games in the UAAP. Do you know that the UAAP is the most prestigious collegiate league in the country? Or are you still stuck in the 60s and think that the NCAA still is the premiere collegiate league? Anyway, that's not the matter of the discussion. This is an open letter to the UAAP, not a material to denigrate the NCAA.Let us give you, our reader, a short history backgrounder on what are we and what the fuck have we done to destroy, er, contribute to college basketball. Wait, let us remember it again. There. We think it was in 2003 or 2004 where our services were called. We were just a bunch of drunkards along the riles with only the knowhow of the larong-kanto style of basketball. That style incorporated baseball pass of inbounds at every chance that we get, a rag-tag run and gun game, the blind and unconditional use of the zone defense, and frequent elbowing that often ended up in fisticuffs. Basketball was just a game for us so we toyed and bastardized it. Going back to the topic, The UAAP spotted us along the riles while having a drinking session at Aling Kepweng's sari-sari store after a game. Seeing that we were sweaty and smelly from hours' worth of basketball, the UAAP tried to get us as referees. We doubted the morons who talked to us because they looked like people who can salvage us with their eye stares.
We had no work; all of us were relegated to being included in the unemployed force (translation: fucking bums) of the society. We took this as a chance to earn some money while we were doing something that we love - basketball. Besides, the guy who approached us promised to give us ample and sufficient training to make us competitive referees that will be the mediator of teams that are about to beat the hell out of each other in the court. Some of us had man-crushes on UAAP hotties like Joseph Yeo, TY Tang, Chris Tiu, JC Intal, and Jvee Casio *ahihihihi* so we accepted the job without any regard. The training came there as promised. We spent several hours watching past UAAP games and engaging in physical activity. We had to lose the fats and the beer belly to be able to keep in step with the UAAP cagers who were youthful and energetic. Also, we needed to look attractive to our man-crushes. We spent more time watching tapes, burning calories on the treadmill, and fantasizing with our crushes.
Also, we had our own hands-on training. One that uses the brain. We were subjected to several mental aptitude tests -- none of which we failed, luckily. We had a separate crash course about the FIBA (amateur basketball) rules. We learned the fundamental rules of basketball and we felt like GODS!!! After the FIBA rulebook crashcourse, We were asked to referee several situations based on the FIBA rulebook. It was good. We were taught to use our judgement call whenever we need to. Of course, when 20 thousand paying fans are waiting for us to make a call in crucial stretches, we really need our judgement call or we will be the target of flying objects -- from bottles, to pens and in extreme cases, metal projectiles. But luckily, none of those metal projectiles include a bullet. We were also taught some self-defense and crowd control, just in case when fans apprehend us outside the coliseum premises and use their bare fists to question our calls in a certain game. Thanks to the self-defense training, we are safe. Imagine if there was no self defense in the training regimen. We'd be totally incompetent!
As part of our practicum in this crash course, we were asked to referee several inter-baranggay games in the mosquito division. Of course, we applied all the concepts that we learned in training camp. It was an exhilarating experience refereeing in the mosquito division. We all passed training camp. With flying colors, while we're at it. So the UAAP management decided that it was time for us to be put to the acid test: our first La Salle vs. Ateneo game. We were as pressured as the players were. I think we were more pressured because we will determine the outcome of the game and who is going to be the winner's bitch. It was a good first-experience. We think we handled the job very well, although a number of fans still wanted to grab us by the neck and use their fists to referee us. But that number has been kept to a minimal, thanks to NABRO's training program. As the season went on, the number of people who went against our competent officiating multiplied every minute. You could hear boos and aahs to our competent calls. Fuckers! We know more about you do about basketball! We were taught how to referee so shut up your fucking mouths!But still, there were no effects to our pleas to stop the complaints against what we taught was competent officiating. Most of the people who were shouting at us say these horrendous and scary things that completely denigrate and insult our competency as basketball game officials...
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY REEEEEEEF!!!"
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY NUMBER(insert #) AYUSIN MO NAMAN!!!"
"REF WALANG FOUL!!!"
"REF ASAN ANG FOUL!!!"
"REF WALA KA BANG MATA!!!"
"REF WAG KA NANG BUMAWI NG TAWAG!!!"
"REF GAMITIN MO NAMAN UTAK MO!!!"
"PUTANGINA MO REF!!!"
"MAMATAY KA NA REF!!!"
"REF KAUNTING HONESTY NAMAN DYAN!!!"
"HOY REF GAGO!!! BOBO KA TALAGA!!!"
"REF WAG KA NAMANG OBVIOUS!!!"
"REF AABANGAN KITA SA LABAS!!! MARKADO KA NA!!!"
...and so an and so forth.
We got tired and scared of it. The death threats (see last of the reference sentences) made us think twice about continuing our job and what we believed as proper officiating. The nuclear stockpile of complaints and criticisms from fans, especially from Ateneans and Lasallians, almost made us break into pieces. We were about to quit the job but the UAAP management pleaded us not to go and promised that they will teach us some dark magic techniques in refereeing. They said that this will earn us enough monies to support our families. Looks like we haven't finished the referee crash course. Here is the most fun part of refereeing.
The dark magic that the training staff was about to teach us was called game-fixing. Yeah, we thought that games needed to be fixed because the fans are getting hostile and violent against us with every call we make. B-but the referee training staff made it come to our senses that they meant another game fixing. This game-fixing did not involve crowd control, it invovled money. Lots of it. Here was the drift according to them. We control the margin of a game according to the spread or the desired winner and desired winning margin in the betting hubs and we get big bucks. We were excited with the big bucks, but also were concerned of the competent and honest officiating that we thought we have done. But they said, "Screw fair officiating! We're earning big bucks here! You're the ones who will make or break this thing so better get your act now and start settling for being hurled with a fee." We were really enticed to this thing since it compensates for all of the hurt that the audience has caused to us. They cannot blame us for being like this. If only they appreciated our competent officiating, this would have not ended like this.
We started calling games in an ill-mannered way, trying to cover for the spread at the betting hubs by making out of this world calls. We also became good at making non-calls even though it's obvious that the concerned player is clearly being violated by his opposition or defender. That's the way we roll now. As they have said, fuck competent officiating. We were instant objects of vilification of UAAP schools. They started the blame game amongst themselves, constantly trying to catch who's benefitting from this game-fixing thing which, apparently, they have also discovered after months of enchantment and confusion. Then there was this time that La Salle got suspended, they instantly took all the blame for game-fixing charges. I think that's still the case even now. HA! If only they knew that we acted on our own decision and cognition, La Salle must be hurling an arrowstorm of insults against the schools who pinned them down for gamefixing accusations.Fast forward to 2007, the Archers were back. Of course the Ateneans still won't let them off the hook even though they won the championship in the hardest way that they could ever do. Imagine going through 5 games of hell with the Eagles. That'd be really hell especially if you mix in with their fans. We should know because they always shout and curse at us every chance that they get. They're a rowdy and arrogant bunch. UE fans too were moaning and complaing that they got cheated upon by this game-fixing thing. They were absolutely right. But they were wrong in pointing fingers coz at others it was us! IT WAS US! NOT THEM! We also spent some time in the NCAA refereeing games but they rejected us for our dirty ways. We guess that they can't take the heat of the competition.
Here we are now in 2008, and this open letter is coming to an end. Our tradition for twisted competency (not incompetency!) is still on the roll. Commissioner Chea--Chito Narvasa is on the helm. Remember his first move? Brilliant. Calling a technical on Franz Pumaren on a small fucking detail. He called it from the patron section. That's what's so great about it. The commissioner was erroneous, indecisive and seemingly unfit to take the commisionership of the UAAP. But he stayed as he is. We tried to get back to our own selves and call games 'our honest and competent way' but bigger controversies sparked. The fans were massively dissatisfied with our calls. We were often cursed. Their favorite was the handy PUTANGINA MO REF!!! We tried to correct things but nothing much went right. Narvasa suspended our colleague Ryan Tabanag because according to Chea--Chito, he lacked the proper demeanor in clutch situations. This happened the first La Salle-FEU game. Anton Montinola, his bestfriend, called out La Salle for having 'no conscience'. Another referee was suspended in the third installment of the said match-up for having a lack of demeanor in a big game. What the fuck is that figgity fucking alibi, Chea--Chito?
We had a chance to make things better. We tried to turn the tables to make calls that mostly favored FEU and put La Salle at a disadvantage. Turns out it didn't work. They noticed the setting trend and they got very, very angry. Legions of La Salle fans at our back started to chant "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!" ad infinitum and it felt like our lives were threatened like we were held at gunpoint. We made the officiating less obviously biased but still, in favor of FEU. But know what, they still lost. I don't know how deep the Archers dug just to steal this win from our hands. We, the NABRO refs, had this win handed over to FEU and the Tamaraws still found a way to lose it. Well we guess that's life. Our next assignment is the La Salle vs. Ateneo finals. This is their first rematch after six years, right? We're excited to referee this game. We will try our best to referee this game because we fear that our lives will be at great risk if we mess up the officiating of this series between the archrivals. We don't really want to get in between their crossfire.
Well we guess that is it for now. That is our open letter to you, reader. Hope to hear from you soon -- if we're still the refereeing body next year!
Copyright © The 15th Parallel
Comment: 1
I guess the UAAP Board didn't like the numerous lane violations being called that is why they went to NABRO and stayed with NABRO. lolz