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Say bye to college ball! Hello NBA Power Rankings!
Wed, Oct 1, 2008 by Purple and Gold
College basketball is already over and let me say a big congratulations to Ateneo and San Beda for making their chief financier Manny V. Pangilinan squirt an orgasm like he was 18. Good Job to Ateneo for breaking the seemingly impossible to break 14-year curse and sweeping the De La Salle Green Archers in their best of three finals series, thanks to Rico Maierhofer's mysterious middle finger that bedazzled the referees. La Salle was clearly outmatched and outplayed by the Eagles who had considerable help from the three blind mice that is on the picture on my right. Speaking of something in threes, congratulations to the San Beda Red Lions too for bagging their third straight championship. I hope you beat Ateneo's arses in the Champions League. Or if you won't, we will. San Beda got a mini-scare against the resillient Jose Rizal Bombers but the Lions took care of business and won Game 3 convincingly. Congrats to the Bedans for their well-deserved three peat and congratulations to Sam Ekwe for being the best import.
Congratulations to both of you but from this point below, this post has got nothing to do with you Eagles and Lions because it's time for the NBA MANIA again! Alright NBA junkies, time to fantasize your idols again. That sounds dirty but really what I mean is the Fantasy Leagues just opened again and it's the season for the NBA and everything NBA!
ESPN has already released its first set of the Power Rankings in the NBA and we, the editors of The 15th Parallel feel that we need to also make a power rankings of sort in our site because we feel that making such hullabaloo is cool and articles like those will help establish our credibility, increase our site hits and increase the volume of hate mails that come at our inboxes every six hours. The primary basis of this power ranking is a combined mix of Stein's opinions and our opinions -- meaning, from the amount of NBA Youtube videos that we watch for every team and the quantity of NBA highlights that we jack off to for every team or every player, especially Kobe Bryant. That's right, that is how objective and well-researched we are for these first power rankings of The 15th Parallel. The Boston Celtics whipped the asses of my Los Angeles Lakers last year (well because Bynum wasn't there to flat-iron them) and the Lakers are looking for a mighty revenge this year. However, there are several contending teams in the East and in the West that are also looking to prevent a rematch of last year's final. These teams are the old faces -- Detroit, San Antonio, Phoenix, New Orleans, Cleveland, Houston, Utah, and etc etc etc and some new faces. So here we go with the first NBA power rankings of The 15th Parallel!
Read more »
(0) comments | Viewed 249 times
L.A. Revilla in: "We're not! That! Inno-cent!"
Thu, Sep 18, 2008 by Pandaemonaeon
Back in the 90s, we've all come to idolize a blonde-haired, 10-year-old by the name of Kevin who relied on creative acts of violence to protect the family home from a pair of burglars (ranging from a tripwire blowtorch to a staple gun), a plot which proved to be so successful that it spawned a series of sequels. Several years later, a similar theme was used by acclaimed director David Fincher on his film Panic Room but since the protagonist was portrayed by someone with pubic hair, it was deemed violent and somewhat controversial. Amazing what difference a cute little innocent lead makes!
Now you're probably asking me: “L.A., did you really write that?” Unfortunately, no; ENG-1's first semester syllabus is rather limited at the moment so I had the 15th Parallel do the foreword for me but my point remains the same and that is: being a kid sure is fun! Obviously not being obligated to work for anything and having everything from candies and ornaments to school allowances (which would go on to fund our escapades at such "innocent" hang-outs like Absinth and Embassy) just come so easy is an awesome thing but the best perk of it all is that you're not culpable for your actions!
See, there's a stigma attached to us kids that we're completely unaware of the repercussions of what we do because not only do we look irresistibly cute and harmless but also that all we think about are videogames and petting zoos. Did that old man really fondle that boy's genitalia? Well, who cares really! All that matters is that children are historically incapable of lying which means that the testimony of a pretty little thing with their cavities and dimples is the gold standard of all evidence. Should this child be held liable for stabbing a call center agent to death after refusing to surrender her purse and iPhone? We all know who's to blame for this mess and it's Marilyn Manson! Skipping school and getting knocked up at Junior high? Such vile creatures their parents are!
As much as I find that stereotype offensive and annoying, considering that kids my age are already allowed to vote for the next politician (who in turn gets his chance at lapping the citizen's taxes, of which is inconsequential to me), give Santa a lap dance at the mall, or be allowed to drive a vehicle capable of either transportation or flattening an unlucky hobo, I have come to wallow in it's many advantages. While I'm responsible enough to know my limits by using it to commit (and escape) small, low-key offenses in the past (as opposed to the large scale atrocities I alluded to earlier by my fellow homies), that all pales in comparison to the mess I found myself in recently.
Read more »
(1) comments | Viewed 734 times
Wed, Oct 1, 2008 by Purple and Gold
College basketball is already over and let me say a big congratulations to Ateneo and San Beda for making their chief financier Manny V. Pangilinan squirt an orgasm like he was 18. Good Job to Ateneo for breaking the seemingly impossible to break 14-year curse and sweeping the De La Salle Green Archers in their best of three finals series, thanks to Rico Maierhofer's mysterious middle finger that bedazzled the referees. La Salle was clearly outmatched and outplayed by the Eagles who had considerable help from the three blind mice that is on the picture on my right. Speaking of something in threes, congratulations to the San Beda Red Lions too for bagging their third straight championship. I hope you beat Ateneo's arses in the Champions League. Or if you won't, we will. San Beda got a mini-scare against the resillient Jose Rizal Bombers but the Lions took care of business and won Game 3 convincingly. Congrats to the Bedans for their well-deserved three peat and congratulations to Sam Ekwe for being the best import.Congratulations to both of you but from this point below, this post has got nothing to do with you Eagles and Lions because it's time for the NBA MANIA again! Alright NBA junkies, time to fantasize your idols again. That sounds dirty but really what I mean is the Fantasy Leagues just opened again and it's the season for the NBA and everything NBA!
ESPN has already released its first set of the Power Rankings in the NBA and we, the editors of The 15th Parallel feel that we need to also make a power rankings of sort in our site because we feel that making such hullabaloo is cool and articles like those will help establish our credibility, increase our site hits and increase the volume of hate mails that come at our inboxes every six hours. The primary basis of this power ranking is a combined mix of Stein's opinions and our opinions -- meaning, from the amount of NBA Youtube videos that we watch for every team and the quantity of NBA highlights that we jack off to for every team or every player, especially Kobe Bryant. That's right, that is how objective and well-researched we are for these first power rankings of The 15th Parallel. The Boston Celtics whipped the asses of my Los Angeles Lakers last year (well because Bynum wasn't there to flat-iron them) and the Lakers are looking for a mighty revenge this year. However, there are several contending teams in the East and in the West that are also looking to prevent a rematch of last year's final. These teams are the old faces -- Detroit, San Antonio, Phoenix, New Orleans, Cleveland, Houston, Utah, and etc etc etc and some new faces. So here we go with the first NBA power rankings of The 15th Parallel!
Read more »
(0) comments | Viewed 249 times
L.A. Revilla in: "We're not! That! Inno-cent!"
Thu, Sep 18, 2008 by Pandaemonaeon
Back in the 90s, we've all come to idolize a blonde-haired, 10-year-old by the name of Kevin who relied on creative acts of violence to protect the family home from a pair of burglars (ranging from a tripwire blowtorch to a staple gun), a plot which proved to be so successful that it spawned a series of sequels. Several years later, a similar theme was used by acclaimed director David Fincher on his film Panic Room but since the protagonist was portrayed by someone with pubic hair, it was deemed violent and somewhat controversial. Amazing what difference a cute little innocent lead makes! Now you're probably asking me: “L.A., did you really write that?” Unfortunately, no; ENG-1's first semester syllabus is rather limited at the moment so I had the 15th Parallel do the foreword for me but my point remains the same and that is: being a kid sure is fun! Obviously not being obligated to work for anything and having everything from candies and ornaments to school allowances (which would go on to fund our escapades at such "innocent" hang-outs like Absinth and Embassy) just come so easy is an awesome thing but the best perk of it all is that you're not culpable for your actions!
See, there's a stigma attached to us kids that we're completely unaware of the repercussions of what we do because not only do we look irresistibly cute and harmless but also that all we think about are videogames and petting zoos. Did that old man really fondle that boy's genitalia? Well, who cares really! All that matters is that children are historically incapable of lying which means that the testimony of a pretty little thing with their cavities and dimples is the gold standard of all evidence. Should this child be held liable for stabbing a call center agent to death after refusing to surrender her purse and iPhone? We all know who's to blame for this mess and it's Marilyn Manson! Skipping school and getting knocked up at Junior high? Such vile creatures their parents are!
As much as I find that stereotype offensive and annoying, considering that kids my age are already allowed to vote for the next politician (who in turn gets his chance at lapping the citizen's taxes, of which is inconsequential to me), give Santa a lap dance at the mall, or be allowed to drive a vehicle capable of either transportation or flattening an unlucky hobo, I have come to wallow in it's many advantages. While I'm responsible enough to know my limits by using it to commit (and escape) small, low-key offenses in the past (as opposed to the large scale atrocities I alluded to earlier by my fellow homies), that all pales in comparison to the mess I found myself in recently.
Read more »
(1) comments | Viewed 734 times
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