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L.A. Revilla in: "We're not! That! Inno-cent!"
Thu, Sep 18, 2008 by Pandaemonaeon
Back in the 90s, we've all come to idolize a blonde-haired, 10-year-old by the name of Kevin who relied on creative acts of violence to protect the family home from a pair of burglars (ranging from a tripwire blowtorch to a staple gun), a plot which proved to be so successful that it spawned a series of sequels. Several years later, a similar theme was used by acclaimed director David Fincher on his film Panic Room but since the protagonist was portrayed by someone with pubic hair, it was deemed violent and somewhat controversial. Amazing what difference a cute little innocent lead makes!
Now you're probably asking me: “L.A., did you really write that?” Unfortunately, no; ENG-1's first semester syllabus is rather limited at the moment so I had the 15th Parallel do the foreword for me but my point remains the same and that is: being a kid sure is fun! Obviously not being obligated to work for anything and having everything from candies and ornaments to school allowances (which would go on to fund our escapades at such "innocent" hang-outs like Absinth and Embassy) just come so easy is an awesome thing but the best perk of it all is that you're not culpable for your actions!
See, there's a stigma attached to us kids that we're completely unaware of the repercussions of what we do because not only do we look irresistibly cute and harmless but also that all we think about are videogames and petting zoos. Did that old man really fondle that boy's genitalia? Well, who cares really! All that matters is that children are historically incapable of lying which means that the testimony of a pretty little thing with their cavities and dimples is the gold standard of all evidence. Should this child be held liable for stabbing a call center agent to death after refusing to surrender her purse and iPhone? We all know who's to blame for this mess and it's Marilyn Manson! Skipping school and getting knocked up at Junior high? Such vile creatures their parents are!
As much as I find that stereotype offensive and annoying, considering that kids my age are already allowed to vote for the next politician (who in turn gets his chance at lapping the citizen's taxes, of which is inconsequential to me), give Santa a lap dance at the mall, or be allowed to drive a vehicle capable of either transportation or flattening an unlucky hobo, I have come to wallow in it's many advantages. While I'm responsible enough to know my limits by using it to commit (and escape) small, low-key offenses in the past (as opposed to the large scale atrocities I alluded to earlier by my fellow homies), that all pales in comparison to the mess I found myself in recently.
Now you are all probably aware that I am currently a hot topic on the inter-web as a result of my actions on last Sunday's game against the FEU Tamaraws. Let's just say that it involved a certain hand gesture I made on the bench while Mac Baracael was shooting his free throws, where it seemed like I was pantomiming gun shots with my fingers. My intent was obviously to lampoon the near death of "Mac-Mac" at the hands of a cross-eyed, midget hitman (which in itself is quite amusing), and draw parallels to his missed free throws as a result of my air bullets bouncing through his ribs.
While it may be true that my behavior was fueled by my childishness, I do admit that I was fully aware of what I was doing, contrary to popular belief spewed by my supporters that, well, I was merely being an irresponsible kid. I knew fully well that poking fun at "Mac-Mac's" unfortunate plight would be hurtful, and subsequently, caused him to flub his free throws and instigate a negative response, too boot. THAT'S what makes it so funny! I wouldn't have done that if I didn't know what it meant! It's called "dark humor"!
But these whole ordeal proved to be larger than I expected so in order to put it behind me, I'll have to swallow my pride and take one for the team by playing the "innocent little boy" card. So yeah, that said: I was unaware that my actions have caused grief to "Mac-Mac" who I initially thought has no reason to feel offended because teenagers (like me!) are incapable of processing basic emotion and thought, so I sincerely apologize.
So what's the moral of this story? Simply put: to take advantage of the graces that are given to you. If you only have 3 more years before turning 21, then make the most of it. Even if it's at the expense of a guy who almost died.
Watch out Coach Franz and Jack; ya'll just might be next!
Thu, Sep 18, 2008 by Pandaemonaeon
Back in the 90s, we've all come to idolize a blonde-haired, 10-year-old by the name of Kevin who relied on creative acts of violence to protect the family home from a pair of burglars (ranging from a tripwire blowtorch to a staple gun), a plot which proved to be so successful that it spawned a series of sequels. Several years later, a similar theme was used by acclaimed director David Fincher on his film Panic Room but since the protagonist was portrayed by someone with pubic hair, it was deemed violent and somewhat controversial. Amazing what difference a cute little innocent lead makes! Now you're probably asking me: “L.A., did you really write that?” Unfortunately, no; ENG-1's first semester syllabus is rather limited at the moment so I had the 15th Parallel do the foreword for me but my point remains the same and that is: being a kid sure is fun! Obviously not being obligated to work for anything and having everything from candies and ornaments to school allowances (which would go on to fund our escapades at such "innocent" hang-outs like Absinth and Embassy) just come so easy is an awesome thing but the best perk of it all is that you're not culpable for your actions!
See, there's a stigma attached to us kids that we're completely unaware of the repercussions of what we do because not only do we look irresistibly cute and harmless but also that all we think about are videogames and petting zoos. Did that old man really fondle that boy's genitalia? Well, who cares really! All that matters is that children are historically incapable of lying which means that the testimony of a pretty little thing with their cavities and dimples is the gold standard of all evidence. Should this child be held liable for stabbing a call center agent to death after refusing to surrender her purse and iPhone? We all know who's to blame for this mess and it's Marilyn Manson! Skipping school and getting knocked up at Junior high? Such vile creatures their parents are!
As much as I find that stereotype offensive and annoying, considering that kids my age are already allowed to vote for the next politician (who in turn gets his chance at lapping the citizen's taxes, of which is inconsequential to me), give Santa a lap dance at the mall, or be allowed to drive a vehicle capable of either transportation or flattening an unlucky hobo, I have come to wallow in it's many advantages. While I'm responsible enough to know my limits by using it to commit (and escape) small, low-key offenses in the past (as opposed to the large scale atrocities I alluded to earlier by my fellow homies), that all pales in comparison to the mess I found myself in recently.
Now you are all probably aware that I am currently a hot topic on the inter-web as a result of my actions on last Sunday's game against the FEU Tamaraws. Let's just say that it involved a certain hand gesture I made on the bench while Mac Baracael was shooting his free throws, where it seemed like I was pantomiming gun shots with my fingers. My intent was obviously to lampoon the near death of "Mac-Mac" at the hands of a cross-eyed, midget hitman (which in itself is quite amusing), and draw parallels to his missed free throws as a result of my air bullets bouncing through his ribs. While it may be true that my behavior was fueled by my childishness, I do admit that I was fully aware of what I was doing, contrary to popular belief spewed by my supporters that, well, I was merely being an irresponsible kid. I knew fully well that poking fun at "Mac-Mac's" unfortunate plight would be hurtful, and subsequently, caused him to flub his free throws and instigate a negative response, too boot. THAT'S what makes it so funny! I wouldn't have done that if I didn't know what it meant! It's called "dark humor"!
But these whole ordeal proved to be larger than I expected so in order to put it behind me, I'll have to swallow my pride and take one for the team by playing the "innocent little boy" card. So yeah, that said: I was unaware that my actions have caused grief to "Mac-Mac" who I initially thought has no reason to feel offended because teenagers (like me!) are incapable of processing basic emotion and thought, so I sincerely apologize.
So what's the moral of this story? Simply put: to take advantage of the graces that are given to you. If you only have 3 more years before turning 21, then make the most of it. Even if it's at the expense of a guy who almost died.
Watch out Coach Franz and Jack; ya'll just might be next!
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