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UAAP Season 71 Preview: UP Fighting Maroons
Tue, Jun 17, 2008 by Pandaemonaeon
Overview: Gone are the days when the Maroons had a superstar and a simple offensive gameplan: "give the ball to him and get the fuck out of the way". One of the first recipients of this was Mike Bravo who did a commendable job in keeping UP afloat as a .300 team for several years. After he left in 2002, Toti Almeda promptly took over the responsibility and didn't do much good either. Then the immortal Jino Ferrer got his shot. Not surprisingly, that served as the team's entry to .100 territory as the Maroons sank further down the spiral and never looked back.
Why you should root for them: Excellent academics-to-cost ratio, culture endemic to atheist faggots, perennial cheerdance competition contenders
Why you shouldn't: Chiz Escudero, their last Finals appearance pre-dated KD Lang and the only team remaining that has yet to make the Final Four in the 21st century.
Change In Leadership: Disappointed by arguably the worst campaign in the school's athletics history (i.e. bagled, 20-point losing margin per game), the Maroons sacked erstwhile coach Joe Lipa and instilled in his place Talk and Text assistant Aboy Castro. If you're muttering "what the fuck" and "shit", you probably have a point as that seems to be the general consensus among the basketball community who either have no idea who he is or feel he's too raw for this heavy undertaking.
Key Additions: The Maroons pigged-out on new recruits this summer, shoring up the backcourt and adding two 6'6" centers. The most notable of the bunch is one "MJ" Silungan, a 6'3" shooting guard who (unlike KG Canaleta) actually shares his first two names (Michael Jeffrey) with the greatest player in NBA history. Whether the Harper College product is also a homophobe, compulsive gambler or an advocate of polygamy (particularly of the white trash persuasion) like his namesake, remains to be seen.
Go-To Move: Seeking to be "independent" and "different" from the rest like any UP student, the Fighting Maroons run a special kind of "motion offense" in which they move the ball around repeatedly, with each recipient getting progressively more scared of shooting it, until they've finally created the worst shot imaginable. As such, the Maroons have barely scratched the surface of the system's great potential, with the concept of the play being botched almost a certainty.
Kryptonite: UP is traditionally an able and willing partner to do the "job" (to parlay a wrestling term) to the team they're slated to play, whether it's through the aforementioned "motion offense", dribbling the ball off their foot, or passing the ball to the Piattos vendor while on a 3-on-1 fastbreak. Unfortunately, the opposition often has a habit of playing down to their competition leading to unforeseen upsets. This mental breakdown could easily be compensated by just telling the Maroons that it's UAAP season again, at which point every iota of winning will be allocated to the upcoming cheerdance exhibition.
Outlook: UAAP Champions... in cheering that is.
Tue, Jun 17, 2008 by Pandaemonaeon
Overview: Gone are the days when the Maroons had a superstar and a simple offensive gameplan: "give the ball to him and get the fuck out of the way". One of the first recipients of this was Mike Bravo who did a commendable job in keeping UP afloat as a .300 team for several years. After he left in 2002, Toti Almeda promptly took over the responsibility and didn't do much good either. Then the immortal Jino Ferrer got his shot. Not surprisingly, that served as the team's entry to .100 territory as the Maroons sank further down the spiral and never looked back.Why you should root for them: Excellent academics-to-cost ratio, culture endemic to atheist faggots, perennial cheerdance competition contenders
Why you shouldn't: Chiz Escudero, their last Finals appearance pre-dated KD Lang and the only team remaining that has yet to make the Final Four in the 21st century.
Change In Leadership: Disappointed by arguably the worst campaign in the school's athletics history (i.e. bagled, 20-point losing margin per game), the Maroons sacked erstwhile coach Joe Lipa and instilled in his place Talk and Text assistant Aboy Castro. If you're muttering "what the fuck" and "shit", you probably have a point as that seems to be the general consensus among the basketball community who either have no idea who he is or feel he's too raw for this heavy undertaking.
Key Additions: The Maroons pigged-out on new recruits this summer, shoring up the backcourt and adding two 6'6" centers. The most notable of the bunch is one "MJ" Silungan, a 6'3" shooting guard who (unlike KG Canaleta) actually shares his first two names (Michael Jeffrey) with the greatest player in NBA history. Whether the Harper College product is also a homophobe, compulsive gambler or an advocate of polygamy (particularly of the white trash persuasion) like his namesake, remains to be seen.Go-To Move: Seeking to be "independent" and "different" from the rest like any UP student, the Fighting Maroons run a special kind of "motion offense" in which they move the ball around repeatedly, with each recipient getting progressively more scared of shooting it, until they've finally created the worst shot imaginable. As such, the Maroons have barely scratched the surface of the system's great potential, with the concept of the play being botched almost a certainty.
Kryptonite: UP is traditionally an able and willing partner to do the "job" (to parlay a wrestling term) to the team they're slated to play, whether it's through the aforementioned "motion offense", dribbling the ball off their foot, or passing the ball to the Piattos vendor while on a 3-on-1 fastbreak. Unfortunately, the opposition often has a habit of playing down to their competition leading to unforeseen upsets. This mental breakdown could easily be compensated by just telling the Maroons that it's UAAP season again, at which point every iota of winning will be allocated to the upcoming cheerdance exhibition.
Outlook: UAAP Champions... in cheering that is.
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